Women's "English"

"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.

"Sure, go ahead" = I don't want you to.

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset you moron.

"We need to talk" = I need to complain.

"You're so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper, etc...

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and rock him until he falls asleep

Answering the question, "What's wrong?"
"...The same old thing" = Nothing

"...Everything" = My PMS is acting up

"...Nothing, really" = It's just that you're such a jerk

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS

1.Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2.You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4.Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5.You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving - call 1-800-***-****."
6.Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7.You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8.You're counting down the days until menopause.
9.You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10.The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

my friends in Nanaimo

from left to right- Jade, Crystal, Crystal S, Lexxy, Moi, Gema, n the short one is Racheal

U know your asian,......

You live in Asia.
You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea.
People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
People think you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
Your relatives' houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
You've visited this site.
Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
Your dad is some kind of engineer.
You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
You shop 99 ranch.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
You've eaten parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
You have painful memories of the feather duster.
You dress like all your Asian friends.
You get nothing when you do well in school, but you get crapped on when you don't.
You have about 12 or more Aunts or Uncles.
You have tiles in at least 2 rooms in your house.
You've read my page up to here.
Your family owns Asian Cars (Toyota).
You have woven mats in your house.
You shop at a Local Asian Market.
Your family takes pictures everywhere they go.
Your dad has the same haircut he had when he was a child.
You see lots of Karaoke videos with phony girls in them.
Nothing matches in your house.
You have a box of noodles in your house.
You have a bucket full of rice in your pantry.
Your dad still wears the tube of socks with the stripes.
You own some kind of Video Game Machine.
You either know how to break dance or knows someone who does.
All your little girl relatives have the same hair style.
You are usually taller than your parents once you reach puberty.
You tell your parents your crisis period and they always have a story to tell you about the same situation they had been through when they were your age.
You have a pair of sandals.
You have had the hairstyle where you part it in the middle or still have it (Mainly for Males).
Your parents or grandparents own a garden.
Your mom wears red lipstick.
You only have Asian doctors/dentist.
You either know how to speak your language or don't.
You make fun of your parents when they speak English.
Your parents like to gamble

Why We Love Kids

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later,
"Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of
water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes
later... "Da-aaad...." "What??" "I'm Thirsty!Can I have a drink
of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank
you!" Five minutes later......"DAAAA-AAAAD......" "WHAT!!" "When
you come in to spank me...can you bring a drink of water?"

********************

One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was
tucking a small boy into bed. As she was about to turn off the
light he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you
sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a
reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said " I have to sleep in
Daddy;s room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."

********************

During the Sunday morning service all the children were invited
to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly
pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and
said "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The
little girl replied, directly into the pastors clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my mommy says it's a bitch to iron."

********************

Finding one of her students making faces at the others on the
playground, Mrs. Smith stopped quickly to reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I
was told tha if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and it would
stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith,
you can't say you weren't warned."